It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
