I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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