nut hugger
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
you win again, gameday.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
