We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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