we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
