I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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