You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
