i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
