Dual....:-)
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
