Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
