one two three fourrrrnication!
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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