Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
