I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
