So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
