please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
