singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
