I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
