I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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