I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
