I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
