somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
