U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Bring me that man meat
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
