Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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