Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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