Do you still have your period?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
