I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
