just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
did i just pee glitter
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