I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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