the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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