Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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