tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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