You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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