I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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