Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
