I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
