She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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