I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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