oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My ass is underappreciated
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
