I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
