His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
