Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
