What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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