THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
