There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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