He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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