Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
