Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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