One girl and one boy is just not enough.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The struggles of a small town man whore
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
