farters have to be the big spoon...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
