I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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